Letting Go Of My Bad Habits.. So Refreshing!

There was a time, not long a go when I was really falling apart. I would never have admitted it to any one, not even myself, but I was a complete mess!I was overweight and I was a smoker.. a heavy smoker .. and there was even this unfortunate incident a few years ago that some of you may remember..

I was dropping off Ev at school. My son, who is diagnosed on the autism spectrum, and very concrete in his thinking. His one-to-one Ed tech pulled me aside and asked me to speak to Evan about " What happens at home stays at home" ... I was thrown by this, because I couldn't think of anything that we did at home that should be left unsaid at school.. That's when the ed tech informed me that during a conversation with the class about the school being a drug free zone.. my dear Ev spoke up and said " My mom does drugs!" My first response was of complete disbelief ... WHYYYYY would he say something so untrue? So, as he is coming back in from morning recess I pull him aside and ask him " Ev, why would you tell your class that mommy does drugs?!" and his response was, " Well you do! The poster in the hall states that tobacco is a drug. " 

... No black or white or in the middle .. Tobacco is a drug. How could I tell him he was wrong?!

And even after that highly embarrassing situation, I still continued to smoke for a couple more years. I also continued to make excuses.. I had so many ready and available to me..

My love, Ron is a heart transplant recipient as of 4 .5 years ago, and 2 of my 3 beautiful children are diagnosed on the autism spectrum... 

Every time I wanted to justify smoking a cigarette or eating that huge slice of cake, I would say, "hey, my life is so stressful, I deserve this"..  And that kind of behavior and mentality just made it worse.. I continued to put on weight and I continued to hold the stress accountable instead of myself. 

Finally, I have come to a point in my life where I am able to look at my situation and use it as an excuse to make a CHANGE. A happier and healthier me, and a healthier family. 

2014 has been a year of breaking those old habits.. and I pray that it continues in this direction! 

And on another note, I started training on my new job position.. it was lots of fun ( and lots of responsibility!) and of course, I purchased new scrubs for the occasion :)

The changes might not show on the outside too much yet, but I feel amazing on the inside. This whole experience has been such a confidence booster!

We create our destinies.. 

I am choosing HAPPY  :D