A Side By Side Comparison of This Month and Last

Today is Tuesday and that means ....

BOKWA!!

I missed last weeks class due to having all day appointments and meetings for Evan and then my week just continued on with out much activity or exercise !

Well, not this week! I am ready to kick it in to high gear and get get rid of this weight I am carrying around. 

Today, before heading off to work for some training, I also snapped a full frame photo .

I believe that the last picture I took was about a month and 15- 20 pounds ago.. The pictures themselves are still not showing significant changes, but I can honestly FEEL them.. 

I don't really feel smaller, as much as I just feel BETTER.. and that's really the goal here! 

Pardon all the photos :) I really want to  be able to look back through all of my moments and enjoy how far I have come. 

its interesting, because as far back as I can remember , I have described myself as "always being a bigger girl"..

hmmm...

Lets consider this. Right now I AM a bigger girl. I am a bigger girl because I made choices not to eat the right foods, I made choices to drink soda, and smoke cigarettes, and not exercise. 
it isn't a very pretty picture that I am painting of myself but I do this for a reason. 
Right now, I can say I AM A BIGGER girl.. and it is completely justified. 

I also, can say that I AM with out a doubt, finally recognizing this and putting in the time and effort that I deserve to be a happier, healthier me..

On the other side of this , however, was an 18 year old me. 145 lbs.. probably wearing a size 10 or 12 in jeans. And Tina at 18 years old, felt the need to point out that " I had always been a bigger girl" . 

I think back on this and wonder why my perception of myself was so off that I would have considered myself a bigger girl at 145 lbs. 

I suppose if anything, the 31 year old me has a much better , and healthier body perception. 

145 lbs is not "BIG"

and most importantly, as my weight is shedding I have come to realize that it is not as much about the number as it is about how one feels on the inside. 

I FEEL AMAZING <3

Weigh in Day and 1/4 of the way there!

Today was weigh in day and as I expected, my loss was minimal.. 1.1 lb down!!!! 

however, that is 1.1 lb I will never have weighing me down again! And that is an absolute beautiful feeling. 

I also realized today that I am 1/4 the way to my goal of 145 lbs! 22lbs gone!!! Seriously!! What an accomplishment!! How can I feel bad for myself when all of these good things are happening?! I can not. Plain and simple! 

Lets recap, friends!!

1-1-2014   Weighed in at 235 lbs

1-6-2014   Weighed in at 232.4

1-13-2014 Weighed in at 231. 6

1-20-2014 Weighed in at 226.2

1-27-2014 Weighed in at 222.2

2-03-2014 Weighed in at 218.6

2-10-2014 Weighed in at 217.2

2-17-2014 Weighed in at 214.2

2-24-2014 Weighed in at 213.1

That's 22 lbs gone!!

68 lbs to my goal weight!!

I got this!!!

Selfies Do Not Lie, Folks!!!

What a week... 

This week I experienced a small dip in my focus.. it happened gradually and before I knew it here we are at Sunday evening and I haven't worked out all week. 

^^ My thoughts exactly.

I also only managed 2 blog posts this week..

So with all of that being said, I am a lot nervous about tomorrows weigh in.. but I also realize that this is my lifestyle now and I can always try harder.. it is all up to me!!

My plan is to refocus next week, regardless of what the scale says. I can honestly say that I felt so much better after getting on my bike and exercising tonight.. it is almost as if the action itself made me feel better and re lit my fire!

*more exercise

*more water.. I am still struggling to get my water intake where it should be

* No excuses or justifying !!

Because, after weeks like this I need to take a step back and look at myself, and ask myself why I want this. I need to refocus and recognize how far I have come. 

21 lbs since January 1st!!

The photo on the left is from right before Christmas and the photo on the right is from today.

Selfies do not lie!!!!

When I look at this picture I see all the hard work and changes I have made in my life since the beginning of the year.. I look less tired, my skin looks MUCH better, my chin is not ((as)) double..lol and I see a happier Tina in general.

Proof that even after letting things slide a little this week.. I am doing the right thing!! I am going in the right direction.

I see wonderful things for week ahead<3

The Key To My Success !

M-O-D-E-R-A-T-I-O-N...

Moderation.. such an easy concept to understand.. but for a chronic over-eater.. this little chunk of valuable information has always been lost to me. 

I UNDERSTOOD the importance.. but I made a choice to ignore it for the first 30 years of my life. 

Why be bothered with only eating a handful of baked lays chips and using my self control to stop while I am ahead. The old Tina would send Ron to the store for a bag of cheese bugles and a fruit pie at 8 pm.. 

and I would eat the entire thing while watching TV ( probably the latest episode of The biggest loser, none the less.. )

480 calories

Another 300 calories..

almost 800 calories combined.. That is more calories then I eat for both breakfast and lunch .. and I was eating it after a full day of meals when I wasn't even really hungry.. I just wanted to snack for the lack of anything better to do. 

Ohhhh sweet Moderation. How you have become my best loved practice. 

I have learned that I do not have to give up foods that I love. ( don't worry, bugles and fruit pies were both goners. ) 

I love chocolate, and cake, and cheese, and pizza and iced lattes.. and since this is a lifestyle change, I didn't want a lifestyle with out those foods I love. I have been able to accomplish that.. MODERATION!! :)

Tonight I was craving pizza :) So I made it at home with my own toppings and my own ingredients.. I know exactly what was put in to it.. you are looking at about 125 calories of pure love <3

I paired this with salad and some Eastern Maine Basketball games on TV.. great pair ! 

It's Weigh in Day and I am Such a Loser!

Today was weigh in day and I was excited. This week I made some changes. I cut out all the Subway , I upped my water intake, and most importantly, I added daily exercise. Everyday (except for Saturday) I did between 15 and 30 mins ! 

I think what's the most interesting to me is that I have made a successful change in lifestyle. I know this because I have gone for over a month and 1/2 and it is just getting easier. 

I also like to point out that this is a lifestyle change and NOT A DIET. I am absolutely not perfect and have not been the last month and a half. 

I have eaten cake, brownies, chocolates, ice cream, Pizza Hut ,Governors, Ruby Tuesdays and many , many iced lattes .. and so on! 

The key , however, has been moderation. I have been able to eat these foods and still loose weight because I am not over eating and I am eating a healthy balanced diet besides that. If i am going to eat cake or even Pizza Hut, I am going to make sure that I stay close to my calories for the day and I am going to exercise to make up for some of the rest.. and if I do go over once in a while , that is OK too! Tomorrow is a new day and no one is perfect everyday! 

So , on to the results!!! I have hit a milestone! 

I have officially lost over 20 lbs!!!!!!!!!! 

Created by MyFitnessPal - Nutrition Facts For Foods

For those of you following.. here is the recap :)

1-1-2014   Weighed in at 235 lbs

1-6-2014   Weighed in at 232.4

1-13-2014 Weighed in at 231. 6

1-20-2014 Weighed in at 226.2

1-27-2014 Weighed in at 222.2

2-03-2014 Weighed in at 218.6

2-10-2014 Weighed in at 217.2

2-17-2014 Weighed in at 214.2

21 lbs down!!!!!! 69 lbs to go :) And I have never been so sure that I am going to make it :)

Guilt Free French Toast Roll Ups

Tonight I ate like a queen.. :) 

First off, I want to tell every one how much I LOVE breakfast food. I truly believe that every restaurant should offer a breakfast menu 24/7 .. Delicious! 

After seeing a recipe for french toast roll ups multiple times on FB today .. I was craving them!  I decided to go ahead and indulge! But with out any guilt! 

150 Calorie french toast roll ups!

2 slices of low calorie bread with 45 or less calories per slice ( I used Sara Lee Multi grain 45 calories and Delightful) 

1 Tablespoon of jelly or jam , Low sugar ( I used Smucker's low sugar with only 25 calories per tablespoon)

1 Table spoon of cram cheese ( I used the fat free I had on hand with 35 calories per table spoon)

an egg or a few Tablespoons of egg beaters

sugar and cinnamon ( feel free to use a sugar substitute ) 

Flatten bread using a rolling pin . Spread on cream cheese and jam and roll. Roll the french toast roll up in egg and then in your cinnamon and sugar mix. 

Cook on medium heat in a pan that has been sprayed with cooking spray. 

Yum- Yum- Yum. 

There are also many ways this could be varied.. PB, bananas, Nutella .. the options are limitless. 

I paired mine with Canadian bacon and some fresh fruit. I was very happy with the result!! 

Happy Valentines day.. and F-up Friday

This week started off really well :)

Monday- 30 mins on the bike, Tuesday- 1 hr of Bokwa, Wednesday-30 mins on the bike...

Thursday.. 

Thursday is when I started to slow down... 15 mins on the bike.. and I had to push myself to do those 15 mins. 
Friday was a repeat of Thursday., another 15 mins/ 150 calories/ 6 miles. 

But you know what?! In January ( and lets be honest.. the past 30 years ) I logged 0 mins of exercise a month.. so I am headed in the right direction! This was my very first week of consistent exercise, and although some nights have been slower then others, I haven't missed a night.

And in the spirit of Valentines day.. and F-up Friday.. I had a treat

A treat that Dixie apparently reallllllllly wanted as well.

And after my workout tonight I spent some time browsing some "smaller" summer clothing ;) I am so determined to get there, and I believe that if I want it enough, I will make it happen!!

Winner!!! .. And The Power of a Positive Attitude

What a wonderful week this has been so far, and a fast paced one as well. I woke up this morning thinking, " It isn't really Wednesday already, right?".

Last night was my second Bokwa class and a little more challenging then the first. The moves themselves are easier because I am getting the hang of them.. but I was tuckered out last night. I was also dangerously close to emailing my friend Christine before class to say " Never mind! , so sick! not tonight!" but I am very glad I didn't. The old Tina would have! But that is a bad habit of the past.. I am moving on, getting healthy and sticking with it!!!

Speaking of Habits!!! Something absolutely wonderful happened to me today! I had recently seen a post from a blog written for the Bangor Daily ," After the Couch", by Pattie Reaves. Pattie has accomplished her own weight loss journey and has run 4 marathons, 9 half marathons, and a couple 5ks.. 

I know!!!! ... Inspiring , right?!?!

Pattie asked us to respond to her blog regarding bad habits that we would like to break ( or possibly good habits we would like to instill ) and she would then chose a winner at the end of the week and they would receive a book that was essential to her own journey.. 

I knew right away that I needed to read this book, So either I would win it or I would purchase it :) I responded to Patties post from the heart.. 

And guess what?! I was chosen as the winner.

And that brings me to one of my favorite topics lately.. positivity.. Positive attitudes are contagious.. you put it out there and some one else IS going to catch it.. they are going to FEEL your excitement.. FEEL your emotion and your passion and they are going to take some of that way with them! You get back what you put out there :) I am a firm believer of that. 

Now, we all have struggles, and bad days and frustrations and weak moments..and that is OK.. but I think that if we can keep a smile on our face and embrace even the smallest of milestones and accomplishments, others are going to take notice.

And you know what happens when others take notice?? It spreads.. all of that good mojo takes off and you also gain a support system, and people who are truly rooting for your success. 

Its a beautiful thing!!! 

So thank you to Pattie! For the opportunity to win this book, and thank you to all of you who are in this with me! 

You can check out Patties blog here.. :D
After the couch

Weigh in Day!

I was nervous this week! It was a very busy week here and I admittedly ate Subway multiple times. Even though I stayed in the correct calorie range, I still believe I may have over done it with the bread. It comes back to the fact that everything should be in moderation ;)

 But Even so, I am down another pound this week!!! :)

Lets break that down for those of you following my progress..

1-1-2014   weighed in at 235 lbs

1-6-2014   weighed in at 232.4

1-13-2014 weighed in at 231. 6 

1-20-2014 weighed in at 226.2

1-27-2014 weighed in at 222.2

2-03-2014 weighed in at 218.6

2-10-2014 weighed in at 217.2

That's 17.8 lbs down in the last 40 days! Slow and steady WILL win the race :) I am feeling so much  better and less stressed out. Tomorrow is Bokwa and tonight I am going to get in some time on the exercise bike .

This week I am going to refocus, 

*more water

*more working out

*No Subway! hahaha 

But for now, its off to relax for a bit! 

And just an update: after my first 30 minute work out on my bike, I managed to burn 276.6 calories :) I think there is a potential for a higher burn, but I am still getting the hang of this exercise thing :)

Encouragement and an Exercise bike!

I have tried loosing weight many times in my past, and I was very unsuccessful. I think half the battle is that I didn't know how success felt.. I was known to "give up" easily and until I quit smoking I didn't know how wonderful setting a goal and sticking to it could feel!!

Another thing playing in my favor is the amount of encouragement I have received. This time around I started this venture with a really close friend of mine who is having similar struggles, and I also am a part of a facebook group of local ladies that encourage each other and weigh in every week. The first week in the group I lost less then a pound.. I felt like I needed to show every one that I COULD do this, and that's exactly what I have done! I am very thankful for the support I have, and that includes every one posting on my facebook wall and reading my blog. you guys rock!

Last week , as most of you know, I started Bokwa! This was my initiation in to the fitness world. Theresa was wonderful and I am excited to go back on Tuesday with a great group of ladies and try it again. In the mean time, I realized that I also really need some accessible things at home so I can get exercise in most days of the week .. NO EXCUSES.. so, we purchased an upright bike and have an elliptical in the works :)

I have a long way to go, but for the first time in a long time, I know I am going to get there! 

Letting Go Of My Bad Habits.. So Refreshing!

There was a time, not long a go when I was really falling apart. I would never have admitted it to any one, not even myself, but I was a complete mess!I was overweight and I was a smoker.. a heavy smoker .. and there was even this unfortunate incident a few years ago that some of you may remember..

I was dropping off Ev at school. My son, who is diagnosed on the autism spectrum, and very concrete in his thinking. His one-to-one Ed tech pulled me aside and asked me to speak to Evan about " What happens at home stays at home" ... I was thrown by this, because I couldn't think of anything that we did at home that should be left unsaid at school.. That's when the ed tech informed me that during a conversation with the class about the school being a drug free zone.. my dear Ev spoke up and said " My mom does drugs!" My first response was of complete disbelief ... WHYYYYY would he say something so untrue? So, as he is coming back in from morning recess I pull him aside and ask him " Ev, why would you tell your class that mommy does drugs?!" and his response was, " Well you do! The poster in the hall states that tobacco is a drug. " 

... No black or white or in the middle .. Tobacco is a drug. How could I tell him he was wrong?!

And even after that highly embarrassing situation, I still continued to smoke for a couple more years. I also continued to make excuses.. I had so many ready and available to me..

My love, Ron is a heart transplant recipient as of 4 .5 years ago, and 2 of my 3 beautiful children are diagnosed on the autism spectrum... 

Every time I wanted to justify smoking a cigarette or eating that huge slice of cake, I would say, "hey, my life is so stressful, I deserve this"..  And that kind of behavior and mentality just made it worse.. I continued to put on weight and I continued to hold the stress accountable instead of myself. 

Finally, I have come to a point in my life where I am able to look at my situation and use it as an excuse to make a CHANGE. A happier and healthier me, and a healthier family. 

2014 has been a year of breaking those old habits.. and I pray that it continues in this direction! 

And on another note, I started training on my new job position.. it was lots of fun ( and lots of responsibility!) and of course, I purchased new scrubs for the occasion :)

The changes might not show on the outside too much yet, but I feel amazing on the inside. This whole experience has been such a confidence booster!

We create our destinies.. 

I am choosing HAPPY  :D

Bokwa! and a New Position at Work

What a wonderful day :)

Today I conquered one of my biggest fears.. making a fool of myself. haha

Up until this point, this pretty much summed up my exercise experiences...

I started Bokwa Dance fitness classes tonight and was very excited and a little intimidated. I went out this morning and purchased some work out clothing for the occasion..  because lets be honest.. I have never worked out. I managed to find something to wear that was both comfy and practical .

Now, I wont say that I actually knew what I was doing.. and I have NO rhythm.. however, it was fun to get out there and move! I can absolutely not wait until next week!

 I also decided today that I would like an elliptical and a recumbent bike , so I am on the look out for those as well

Loosing weight is so much fun!

And now I am off to bed :) Tomorrow I start a new chapter at Borderview. I will be changing positions from a nurses aid to a CRMA passing medications on Sub Nursing and Boarding. Tomorrow is my very first day of training and I am excited and nervous as heck ;)

6 Month Smoke-free-aversary and Weigh in Day!!

Today is a milestone for me! 6 months ago I decided that I no longer wanted to smoke cigarettes. I had smoked for 15 years and was up to 2 packs a day. I was getting to the point where I was embarrassed to be a smoker and would try to hide it.. it was time for a change!

I made the commitment and promised my children that I was finished smoking and would spend my savings on a Disney Vacation the following year. Our vacation is planned for October 29th- November 3. May the next 6 months be as easy as the first 6 months have been for me!

Today was also weigh in day, and my oh my, was I scared! The last week included my birthday. On Thursday and Friday I had cake, and Friday I enjoyed some unhealthy pizza hut with the family. I also had 3 or 4 iced lattes. All of that sounds insane, however, I made VERY good choices besides that.. for the most part, I was still making healthy choices.. AND IT PAYED OFF!!!

218.6 !!!!

I am officially out of the 220's! I lost 3.6 lbs for a total of 16.4 lbs lost.. 

lets recap!

1-01-2014 weighed in at 235 lbs

1-06-2014 weighed in at 232.4

1-13-2014 weighed in at 231. 6 

1-20-2014 weighed in at 226.2

1-27-2014 weighed in at 222.2

2-03-2014 weighed in at 218.6

16.4 lbs lost since January 1, 2014!!!!

and here is this weeks full frame photo :)